I’m doing it!

by yamanisha

Day 2! Yay!

Today I wrote down a bunch of topics that I was going to write about to give myself motivation to write for the week. Now, I’m sitting here, and I don’t really feel like writing about any of those things.

I’ve been kind of anti-social lately. Anti-social to me is probably still extremely social but I’ve just been having the desire to spend a lot of time alone. Nothing’s wrong. I’m pretty happy, actually. I’m still feeling good from yesterday. I had a good day. Everything is good. Just doing nothing by myself sounded really nice tonight. And potentially tomorrow.

I used to HATE being alone. Even when I was alone at home, I was talking on the phone. I was so dependent on human interaction. I still love it, don’t get me wrong. It’s always great to spend time with the people you love. Especially because quality time is something I hold to be so valuable. But now I also feel okay with just being by myself. I kinda love it. I don’t mean for it to be offensive or anything, I still love everyone obviously, but sometimes I literally want to be the laziest version of myself and I want to do it by myself. I want to get in my pajamas, get into bed and do a rotation of Season 5 of Friends, Season 6 of Scrubs and Season 3 of The Office. It feels good to feel happy by myself. I feel like I accomplished something with that.

I know i can’t get too crazy with this. I still need to do stuff. I need to go out and travel and explore. And I will. I could do it more so that’s something I’ll officially start working on.

Maybe it’s part of getting older. You start to value different types of things and situations. And I feel like it is something valuable to be with yourself and to enjoy it. As the great RuPaul says “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?– can I get an AMEN?”

Amen, Ru!

But, seriously. It’s important and I’m sorta, kinda proud of myself. I hope this doesn’t come off weird. I think I’m just still carrying positive residue from the last few days. I promise to try to write something more brooding tomorrow. One of the topics, perhaps!

Anyway. Lesson of the day: It’s cool to hang out by yourself now, but don’t forget to adventure.